It has come to my attention that our Portland, our weird Portland is under attack- from within!
These stickers have been popping up all over Portland, even disturbingly close to Weird Central, AKA the Kram Kave. These Evil Doers are doomed to failure. The very idea of making Portland normal is, in itself, weird. Evil Doers, you will fail, and we will hunt you down and make you weird! Try to stop us!
You will have to stop a massive horde of weirdos, beyond the reach of your partitioned “normal” mind! You will have to stop…
the people who hitch up all the pygmy ponies to the hitching rings all over the city…
the poets who write weird poetry all over town…
the freaks, geeks and bikers who celebrate the low life.
That’s right, I said “the freaks”….
the geeks (why yes, that is a Hieronymus Bosch painting on her laptop)…
and the bikers too.
You will have to stop the farmers who grow their crops in pickup trucks…
the random jokers who put up joke boards in their front yards…
… the hippies who make lovely rest stops for the weary traveler…
…the anarchists….
… the hard working immigrants who make our city so deliciously weird…
… the Sausage Nazi who loathes the muddy booted, hand-trucker. And finally, Mr. Normal, after you’ve stopped all these people you will have to stop the:
